


A Slow and Steady Seduction - Phase II

by menel



Series: A Slow and Steady Seduction [1]
Category: The Beast Must Die (Webcomic)
Genre: Co-Dependency, Confessions, Dating, Established Relationship, Flirting, Gay Bar, Introspection, Kissing, M/M, Obsession, Possessive Behavior, Post-Canon, Sexuality, psychopaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29559234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/menel/pseuds/menel
Summary: Some new experiences and some old experiences. Lee Kirin and Kang Moo try to navigate the next stage in their relationship.
Relationships: Kang Moo/Lee Kirin
Series: A Slow and Steady Seduction [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2209620
Comments: 7
Kudos: 6





	A Slow and Steady Seduction - Phase II

**Author's Note:**

> Fic title from Anya Marina's 2009 album of the same name.

Kirin had stood on the far corner of the street opposite the bar for a good fifteen minutes before he’d finally made up his mind. This felt like one of his dumber ideas, but he was already here. He would see it through. Curiosity had gotten the better of him. Gay bars. Of course, he knew that they existed. He’d just never imagined going to one before, had never questioned his sexuality before. Even now, it didn’t feel like he wasn’t questioning his sexuality – not really – never mind that he’d just decided to enter a gay bar, and the fact that he’d been having sex with a man for the past few months. Did those things make him gay? He didn’t feel any differently from before. Or was he _bisexual_? He’d dated women. He’d had girlfriends. He enjoyed sex with women, though he’d concede that none of those experiences had been as good as sex with Kang Moo. 

_Kang Moo_. 

This was all his fault.

Specifically, tonight was his fault because something had come up and he’d rain checked his plans with Kirin, leaving Kirin to his own devices. In a much broader sense, it was also Kang Moo’s fault that Kirin was standing in front of a gay bar in the first place, but Kirin didn’t have the mental energy to get into that. It was just easier to say that Kang Moo had left an indelible mark on Kirin’s life and leave it at that.

From the outside, there was nothing special about this bar. Not that Kirin had been expecting a giant neon sign proclaiming ‘GAY BAR’ or anything like that. Well, maybe he’d been expecting a _little_ something. According to his research (yes, he’d done research), this was the hottest gay bar in the metro, but from the outside it looked ordinary, even discreet. Which was smart. Even the hottest gay bar wouldn’t want to advertise. Kirin watched as two men walked out of the bar and went to the little side street on the corner of the building. A few moments later, they’d lit cigarettes. At that time of night, given the location and the fact that there were no pedestrians, it was safe to smoke. Kirin scanned the area again. It felt unnaturally quiet, but the bar wasn’t located on one of the busier nightlife streets. Making up his mind, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, kept his head down and crossed the street.

The inside of the bar was no different from the other bars that Kirin had been to, not that he was an expert in the bar-hopping scene. Kirin preferred coffee shops. He liked the light and airiness that coffee shops generally had. They were a good place to work, a nice place to read. In truth, Kirin was a bit of a homebody. Oh, he knew how to cut loose with his friends after completing a major project, but on the whole he wasn’t much of a drinker. Going out to a bar by himself? _Very_ uncharacteristic behavior. But it’s not like he could’ve asked one of his friends to go out with him tonight. They would’ve thought he was crazy. Or that he'd lost some kind of bet.

This bar was busy, but not overly packed. It wasn’t dingy either; it was nice, on the high-end side, in fact. That surprised Kirin a little. _It probably had high-end prices to go with the high-end look_ , he thought, a little ruefully. No, what made this bar immediately different from the other bars Kirin had been to was that he found himself in a sea of men. There wasn’t a woman in sight, not even a waitress. _And why should there be?_ Kirin thought. Waitresses wouldn’t appeal to this crowd. By itself, that wouldn’t have bothered him except that he was acutely aware of being checked out from the moment that he’d entered the bar. He could actually _feel_ eyes following him as he walked across the room, roving up and down his body. It made him self-conscious, and some of the hairs on his forearm rose in response. He wasn’t used to being so blatantly checked out like this, especially by men. He tapped down on the sudden fear that his reaction made him homophobic. No. He wasn’t homophobic, but he was clearly out of his element. Suddenly, satisfying his curiosity by going to a gay bar seemed like a terrible idea. And since he was by himself, he was automatically giving off the wrong signals. A single man going to a gay bar really only meant one thing – he was looking for a hook-up.

Kirin found a space towards one end of the long bar counter. He’d already noticed that most of the standing tables and booths were occupied. The place was doing good business, especially for a weeknight, not that he had a basis of comparison. Before the bartender could come around to take his order, somebody had already sidled up to Kirin’s side. 

“First time?” 

Kirin looked to his left. God, that was fast. “That obvious?” he said in return, trying to affect an air of disinterest. 

The stranger nodded. “You have that wide-eyed newbie look about you,” he confirmed. “Plus, I haven’t seen you around here before.” He held out his hand. “I’m Soohan.”

Kirin accepted the handshake, though he felt slightly awkward. A handshake seemed too formal for a bar. “Lee Kirin,” he replied, the formality of the handshake automatically making him give his full name. Kirin wanted to smack himself. Definitely out of his element. 

Soohan smiled. He could probably tell that Kirin was flustered. Kirin knew that he could be transparent. Wasn’t that how Kang Moo could read him so easily? _Partly_ , Kirin surmised. Kang Moo could read everybody easily. He was an astute observer of behavior. That was the effect when one’s own social cues were often dependent on the social cues of others.

“Are you a regular, Soohan?” Kirin asked, his eyes seeking out the bartender. The bar was a long oblong-shaped affair. There should’ve been one bartender for each half, but both of them had wound up on the far side, as far away as possible from where Kirin was sitting. Damn.

“Regular enough to be a guide,” Soohan said with confidence. He’d stepped closer to where Kirin was perched on a barstool. He wasn’t invading Kirin’s personal space, but he was close enough to make Kirin feel a little uncomfortable. Soohan was leaning against the counter on his side, facing Kirin. The angle made Kirin feel boxed in, especially since there was nowhere to go on Kirin’s right side. “I can give you a who’s who in this place,” Soohan offered. “Tell you who to stay away from, who’s got a reputation, who’d be a good catch.” His smile was borderline lascivious and there was a definite glint in his eye.

Kirin couldn’t help the side-eye look that he gave Soohan. This guy was coming on strong. He must’ve thought that Kirin was easy prey. (Kirin was starting to _feel_ like easy prey.) Where was the damn bartender?! The sudden hand on Kirin’s waist almost made him jump. When he looked at Soohan again, the other man was definitely invading his personal space. _Too aggressive_ , Kirin thought. _Too handsy_. 

“What do you say?” 

Kirin was about to tell Soohan to keep his hands to himself when another man pushed right between them, breaking them apart, and causing Soohan to stagger backwards. 

“Hey!” Soohan said angrily to the newcomer. “Watch where the hell you’re going!”

“Sorry,” the newcomer said, not sounding the least bit apologetic. He’d managed to smoothly ease himself between Kirin and Soohan, a remarkable feat given how little space there had been between them. The stranger evidently didn’t care that he’d separated them. (Kirin was relieved.) Now, he was leaning casually against the bar, resting his weight on his forearms. He snapped his fingers once, immediately catching the attention of one of the bartenders. 

“Can’t you see that we’re having a conversation?” Soohan’s voice was short and sharp. He was still seething at the interruption and probably hadn’t thought the stranger’s apology to be very sincere. (It wasn’t.) 

“Were you?” the stranger asked mildly.

Kirin’s full attention fell on the man beside him. He recognized that voice, that tone. And now that Kirin was really looking, the man’s build and height were familiar too, as were the black hair and black clothes, even though Kirin hadn’t seen his face. A wave of relief unexpectedly washed over him. 

The stranger, still leaning forward on the bar counter, glanced back at Kirin. “How are his conversation skills?” he asked. 

Kirin had to fight back a smile. So, this was how Kang Moo was going to play it? Kirin could go along with that. “Too early to tell,” he replied. 

“And his pick-up skills?” Moo continued, ignoring the very man that he was talking about.

“Aggressive,” Kirin admitted. He could see something soften faintly around Moo’s eyes at the admission. It made his heartbeat quicken. Damn. It’d been months, and Kang Moo _still_ had that effect on him. Impulsively, he added: “Do you think you can do better?” 

The softness was gone to be replaced by a dark glint and a smirk that Kirin knew so well. “What are you drinking?” Moo asked.

“Just beer,” Kirin answered. Across Kang Moo’s shoulder, he caught the expression on Soohan’s face. The other man looked livid, but he also looked a little captivated, his gaze pinned on Kang Moo’s profile, though Kang Moo had barely acknowledged his presence.

The bartender was there, waiting to take Kang Moo’s order, though he’d been nowhere near when Kirin had needed the distraction. Kirin watched as Kang Moo ordered him a beer (some foreign brand that Kirin had never heard of) and then tequila for himself. Kirin raised his eyebrows at that. He didn’t think of Moo as a hard liquor drinker (and tequila was a different beast altogether), but then realized that he wouldn’t know. They’d never actually been to a bar together before, and Moo didn’t drink in his apartment. In fact, since that first party Kirin had attended with Moo, where he’d finally met the members of the fraternity unmasked, he couldn’t remember Moo drinking at all.

The bartender poured Moo a shot of tequila and placed the beer next to the shot glass. Kirin wasn’t sure what Moo was planning to do next, but anything Moo did these days probably wouldn’t surprise him. So, when Moo turned and bracketed Kirin’s body with his arms, effectively pinning Kirin against the bar counter, Kirin didn’t react. If anything, he was watching Moo curiously. (That same curiosity mingled with fascination was mirrored on Soohan’s face. Soohan didn’t seem to be that upset anymore.) Kirin followed Moo’s left hand as it picked up the shot of tequila, though Moo’s gaze never left Kirin’s face. He realized he was holding his breath as Moo drank the tequila, his eyes locked onto Moo’s dark gaze. _Yes_ , he thought. _Kang Moo was captivating. His presence alone was captivating_. Kirin was so mesmerized that he gasped when a cool liquid trickled down his neck. He hadn’t seen Moo pick up the wedge of lime until Moo was squeezing the juice on his skin. Then, Moo made a show of licking a line of rock salt from the back of his hand, giving Kirin a fraction of time to prepare for what he now knew was coming.

Moo’s grip on the back of Kirin’s neck was firm and welcome. He felt Moo turn them slightly, shifting their position so that Soohan could have the best possible view. Then Moo licked a warm, slow stripe up Kirin’s neck, chasing the tequila with salt and lime, the large salt crystals unmelted and rough on his tongue. Before Moo was even finished, Kirin was turning his head, seeking out the unspoken but promised kiss. He’d forgotten that they were in public (but would think later that a gay bar was probably the most appropriate place to behave like that). Moo obliged him, and the kiss felt like a kind of reward, though for what, Kirin wasn’t entirely sure. What he was sure of was the strong aftertaste of tequila in Moo’s mouth, mixed with an even stronger taste of salt and lime. It was a heady combination and Kirin was falling into the kiss, as he always did with Moo. Being with Kang Moo was intoxicating, Kirin didn’t need tequila to know that. He wasn’t aware of his own hands reaching out and cradling Moo’s neck. He didn’t realize that he was pressing himself into Moo until he felt Moo’s free arm wrap around his waist and hold him steady. (He’d unknowingly almost slid off the barstool.) And by the time the kiss ended and Kirin glanced to his right, Soohan was gone.

“That was quite a display,” Moo commented. There was no approval or disapproval in his tone. From Kang Moo, the words came out as an objective statement of fact. 

Kirin laughed, his hands now resting on Moo’s shoulders. “That was hot,” he said. He tilted his head. “Would you really pick up a total stranger like that?” 

“Maybe,” Moo replied. _Yes_ , his eyes said.

Kirin shook his head. “You would,” he said. “You totally would.” The knowledge didn’t dampen his good humor. He was just so damn happy to see Moo. “What are you doing here?” he asked. 

“I should be asking you that,” Moo answered. He still had one arm wrapped around Kirin’s waist. “A gay bar, Kirin? Are you going through some kind of sexuality crisis? Because you’re not gay.”

Kirin laughed again, softer this time. He looked down, suddenly feeling bashful. “No,” he agreed. “This isn’t a sexuality crisis.” He looked back up. “I was just . . .” He shrugged a little helplessly. “Curious?” he said, for lack of anything better to say. He shook his head. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” His right hand drifted downward until he was fingering the lapel of Moo’s finely-made jacket. “I know I’m not gay,” he confirmed. “But you don’t find it strange that I’m with you?” 

“No.” 

“Oh, because you’re all that?” Kirin said, a little sarcastically. 

“Yes.” 

Kirin was dumbfounded. Sometimes Moo could leave him speechless. “Bastard,” he finally said, giving Moo a half-hearted punch in the chest, but he was also smiling. “What about you?” he asked after a moment, his hand still resting on Moo’s chest.

“What about me?” 

“You’ve slept with women, right?” 

“Yes.” 

“And other men?” 

“Yes.” 

“So . . . ?” 

Kirin let the word hang in the air, looking at Moo expectantly. 

“What do you want me to say?”

“Are you . . . bi?” 

It was Moo’s turn to tilt his head, eyeing Kirin thoughtfully. “I don’t care much for labels,” he said. “You’re attracted to whom you’re attracted to. But if you want to call me ‘bisexual,’ you can.” 

_You’re attracted to whom you’re attracted to._ It explained a lot about their own relationship. 

“Want to get a table?” Moo asked, interrupting Kirin’s thoughts. 

“Are we staying?” Kirin said, slightly surprised. 

“We just got here,” Moo replied. “And you haven’t touched your beer.” 

Oh, that’s right. Kirin had completely forgotten about his beer. “What about you? Are you having another tequila?” 

In response, Moo lifted his free hand, motioning to the bartender to bring them another beer. “Tequila is a theatrical drink,” Moo explained, as the bartender brought another beer. “It’s good to put on a show.” Which had clearly been Moo’s intention for Soohan.

For the first time, Kirin got a good look at the beer that Moo had ordered. “Dead Guy Ale,” he said, reading the label out loud. “Are you for real?” he asked incredulously. 

Moo’s arm was still around Kirin’s waist. He let Moo guide them to the nearest empty booth, each of them carrying their own beers. Kirin may have even leaned into Moo a little. The bar felt very different now with Moo by his side. He could still feel eyes on them, even more eyes than before, but somehow Kirin didn’t think that he was the center of attention anymore. One glance to his left told him that Moo wasn’t aware of the attention that he drew, or that he didn’t care, or that he was simply used to it. _It was probably some combination of the three_ , Kirin thought.

“Dead Guy Ale?” Kirin prompted, when they sat down. The booths were circular in shape, their design mirroring the clean circular lines of the bar. If only the décor hadn’t been so dark – rich shades of auburn, onyx with hints of gold – Kirin would’ve thought that the bar had a more futuristic, sci-fi feel. 

“It’s made by a craft brewery called Rogue,” Moo explained. “I discovered it when I was in the States. They’re based in Oregon. They’re very good.”

Kirin took a drink. The beer had a tart malt aroma and a rich hearty flavor that popped on his tongue. Damn. It _was_ good. He nodded his approval when Moo glanced at him. Moo’s right arm was stretched casually along the back of the booth as he took a pull of his beer. Whether or not it was meant to be an invitation, Kirin accepted and slid into Moo’s space. Moo glanced at him again, but didn’t say anything.

Being with Moo at a gay bar was making Kirin consider things that he simply hadn’t thought of before. Here they were expected to be a couple (and they were), and Kirin was playing into that expectation by sliding into Moo’s space. He _wanted_ people to know that Moo was his and vice versa. Then, maybe the looks would stop. (Nothing to see here, folks. He’s _taken_.) But that probably wouldn’t be true elsewhere, Kirin realized. He wasn’t oblivious to the taboo of homosexuality in his country. It wasn’t smart, or even safe, to be out. There were real consequences for it in every facet of society. Kirin hadn’t given much thought to it before, probably because he was heterosexual, but there was also no denying that he was in a relationship with a man. He glanced at Moo again. _Nobody could blame me_ , he thought, giving Moo his own onceover. _Anybody would hit that_. Kang Moo brought new meaning to the expression, ‘Gay for you.’ 

“What is it?” Moo finally said. “You keep staring at me.”

“ _Everybody’s_ staring at you,” Kirin corrected. 

Moo’s expression said that wasn’t really an answer. Kirin sighed, taking a long pull from his beer. 

“You don’t care what people think about you,” he stated. 

Moo flashed him a smile, and Kirin couldn’t tell whether it was ironic or not. 

“I suppose not,” Moo said.

 _There_. Kirin couldn’t tell whether that statement was ironic or not either. He gave Moo his own wry look. “Everything you say or do is calculated,” he pointed out. 

Another smile, another (possibly) ironic statement. 

“If that’s what you think.” 

_Goddamn him_ , Kirin thought. He wanted to hit Moo again, maybe a little more forcefully this time. 

“What’s really on your mind?”

Kirin exhaled loudly. “You’re right,” he said. “I’m straight. And I’m attracted to you, and I’m cool with that. Which probably makes me ‘gay for you,’ but it’s just _you_.” Moo’s expression said, _Keep going_ , so Kirin did. “The thing is,” he said slowly. “Being here tonight made me realize that I should probably care a lot more about what people think if they knew that we were in a relationship. But I . . .” he trailed off, shrugging. “I just don’t.” He looked at Moo. “Isn’t that weird?” he said. “I mean, isn’t that why you came here tonight? To save me? It’s not on the same level as the hotel or the forest, but you did sort of save my ass back there.” 

Moo nodded, finishing the last of his beer. “I did say that you’d be a handful,” he reminded Kirin.

“Oh, for –” Kirin started, but abruptly stopped. Moo was laughing at him. Not outwardly, but Kirin could see the laughter in Moo’s eyes. It probably should’ve made him feel even more frustrated, but all he said was: “Why don’t I care?”

The question came out sounding like a demand, as though he expected Moo to have an answer. (And the truth was, he really did expect Moo to have an answer.) Another smile, but this one was genuine. Kirin could tell. He felt Moo’s arm fall across his shoulders, pulling him even closer as Moo leaned in. 

“Because you’re secure,” Moo told him. He tipped Kirin’s face upwards with his left hand, always just the right angle for a kiss. “And I like that,” he added, slotting their mouths together.

Kirin returned the kiss, his second public kiss with Kang Moo in the space of thirty minutes, his right hand resting on Moo’s nape. He believed Moo’s answer, but another one came to him as Moo’s tongue swept possessively through his mouth. _Because you’re with me_ , Moo seemed to be saying. _Because I’ll protect you_. And even though Moo never said those words out loud, Kirin believed them. He ended the kiss by nipping on Moo’s jaw. “I’m hungry,” he said. 

“So am I,” Moo agreed. “Do you want to eat here or go someplace else?” 

“Someplace else, please.” 

Moo smirked. “I’ll take care of the bill,” he said, disentangling himself from Kirin and sliding out of the booth.

Kirin was slower to follow. He hung back, deciding to wait at the booth while Moo went to the bar to settle their bill, rather than waiting for a waiter to bring it to them. Eyes were on Kirin again, but they didn’t make the hairs rise on his forearm anymore, even if Moo wasn’t with him. He knew what these people were thinking, _How’d you catch him? What makes you so special?_

“Beats me,” Kirin muttered, as Moo made his way back from the bar. When he stretched out his hand, Kirin grasped it without hesitation, strong fingers curving around Moo’s palm. 

“Do you feel like eating anything in particular?” Moo asked him, as they headed toward the exit. 

“Nah,” Kirin said. “You decide. I’m good with anything.”

Kirin realized, as they walked hand-in-hand out of the bar, that this was probably the first time that they’d held hands as they walked, a common enough sign of affection for couples, something Kirin had done frequently with his former girlfriends, but not with Kang Moo. Instinctively, he gripped Moo’s hand a little tighter, causing Moo to glance at him. 

“I’m fine,” Kirin said, knowing that he meant every word. That he was fine with holding hands with Kang Moo, whether they were in a gay bar, or on a crowded beach, or simply walking down the street. He didn’t care about what people thought, and best of all, he knew that Kang Moo didn’t care either.

* * *

The restaurant Moo chose was even more high-end than the bar. It was located on the top floor of a hotel that gave perfect views of the city. No fast food or dingy late-night restaurants for Kang Moo. Unsurprisingly, the place had a dress code, so Kirin had left his hoodie in Moo’s car and swapped it for a suit jacket that was hanging in the back. 

“That’s just been dry-cleaned,” Kirin objected, when he saw Moo unzipping the suit’s plastic cover. 

“So?” Moo questioned. “I’ll have it dry-cleaned again.” Kirin was about to protest some more, but Moo said, “Would you rather I bought a suit for you from the hotel boutique?”

“What? NO!” Kirin was shocked by the suggestion. Buying a fancy suit for a dinner seemed like total overkill. _The rich lived differently_ , he thought, though Moo was usually more discreet about his wealth and resources.

The maître’d recognized Kang Moo, greeted him graciously, and then proceeded to escort them to the table with the best view. 

“One of your regular places?” Kirin couldn’t help but ask, as he sat down. An elegant leather-bound menu with a silver cursive script was placed in front of him. Kirin didn’t bother opening it. He knew that the prices would be galling. 

“Do you remember my cousin?” Moo asked. “Soyoung?” 

“Choi Kyung-bin’s ex-fiancée,” Kirin said. 

“Yes,” Moo confirmed. “This is one of her family’s hotels.” He was flipping through the menu disinterestedly. Apparently, he already knew what he wanted to order.

“So, it’s sort of like one of _your_ family’s hotels,” Kirin prodded. 

“Indirectly,” Moo said. “If you want to call it that.” He signaled for the waiter who’d been watching them from a discreet distance. “Do you know what you want to order?” he asked, motioning that Kirin hadn’t opened his menu. 

“I’ll have whatever you’re having,” Kirin said simply.

“How about wine?” 

“Are you planning to have wine?” 

“No. I’ve had enough to drink tonight and I need to drive.” 

“Then, water’s fine.” 

Moo gave their orders and the waiter bowed politely before disappearing.

“This feels like a date,” Kirin said, when they were alone. Aside from them, only two or three other tables were occupied at that late hour. The restaurant was very quiet; the sound of trickling water from the fountain at the center and the soft, fluted music in the background provided a calm and relaxing ambiance. Below them, the city lights twinkled. 

Moo took a sip of his water. “And why wouldn’t this be a date?” he asked in return.

Kirin leaned forward, but didn’t place his arms on the table. “We haven’t really gone on dates,” he pointed out. “We’ve been seeing each for a while now,” he went on. “But there was always something else to worry about. Now that the investigation is officially closed . . .” he trailed off. “We can spend more time together, right? Like normal couples?” 

“And you want to go on dates?” 

“I . . . guess?” Kirin grinned. “It doesn’t really matter what we do,” he went on. “I just want to spend time with you without worrying about . . . other things.” 

“Without worrying about your life being in danger,” Moo translated. 

“Or _your_ life,” Kirin said seriously.

Even now Kirin’s heart skipped a beat at the remembrance of the car accident, of being purposely driven off-road by that ten-wheeler truck, of his anxiety at Moo’s head injury, of his absolute fear at the appearance of the assailant. Kirin knew that he still didn’t have all the details of what had happened that night. He hadn’t pressed the issue, and Moo wouldn’t volunteer that kind of information. But when Kirin was ready, he would ask, and Moo would tell him. That’s the way it worked between them. Some people – psychologists, psychiatrists, the so-called experts mainly – might’ve laughed at Kirin’s belief. Psychopaths were notorious liars. It was one of the reasons why they couldn’t be trusted; why they could turn on you at any moment, as long as it was to their advantage. Maybe Mr. Jang was right. Maybe Kirin was too naïve when it came to Kang Moo. But maybe . . . maybe there was also something there, something Kirin couldn’t quite explain, something Kang Moo himself might not be able to explain. That was what Kirin chose to believe.

“Hey,” Kirin said suddenly. “How’d you find me tonight, anyway? Was it my phone? Did you put the tracker back in my watch?” 

“It was your phone,” Moo confirmed. “And no, I haven’t put the tracker back in your watch.” 

“Are you planning to?” 

There was a pause. 

“I haven’t decided,” Moo finally said. 

“That just sounds like ‘yes.’”

“I haven’t decided,” Moo repeated. At Kirin’s long look, he added, “A watch is useless if you lose it. It’s the same with a phone.” 

“I told you I’d be more careful,” Kirin protested. 

“Be careful _now_ , Kirin,” Moo warned. “You sound like you _want_ me to put a tracker on you.”

Kirin paused. _Was_ that what he wanted? It seemed impossible. Just a few months ago, the idea of a tracker grated on Kirin. He chafed against it before he came to realize that the advantages of a tracker outweighed the disadvantages, especially in their particular situation. Moo had saved him twice because of the tracker and the additional surveillance. In the end, it had been worth it to give up some of his privacy in exchange for his safety. After a while, there had been something almost comforting about knowing in the back of his mind, that Moo was looking out for him. Kirin didn’t delude himself into thinking it was because Moo _cared_ about him. Kirin’s safety had been integral to Moo’s own safety. Moo had kept an eye on him because it was to _his_ advantage. But that knowledge didn’t erase the fact that Kirin had grown comfortable with the surveillance, that he’d come to accept the tracker as normal. (Which was messed up, right? _That_ was messed up.) The night that Kirin had lost the watch in his distraction, his first concern hadn’t been that he’d lost a watch of great sentimental value (because Seorin had given it to him long ago), but that he’d lost the tracker _inside_ the watch. His first thought hadn’t been about his sister; it had been about _Kang Moo_. Hadn’t that been a sure sign, Kirin wondered now, of how drastically things had changed?

“I wouldn’t mind,” Kirin said at last. “I wouldn’t mind if you put the tracker back in the watch, if that would make you feel better.” 

“Why would that make me feel better?” 

Kirin shrugged. “I’m not sure,” he admitted. “But it feels like . . .” he trailed off. “It feels like,” he tried again, “like a . . . _condition_ . . . of being with you. And I accept it.”

The look on Kang Moo’s face told Kirin that he’d managed to take Kang Moo by surprise. Kirin smiled in return. It was so rare that he could ambush Kang Moo in any way that this felt like a small victory. He didn’t have any time to gloat, however, since their appetizer arrived. 

“Did you order a full-course meal?” Kirin asked, a little worried. An elaborate, somewhat delicate-looking seafood cocktail was being placed in front of him. 

“It’s too late for that,” Moo answered. “Not good for digestion. Besides, you want to have sex later, right?” 

Kirin almost choked on a piece of shrimp. The waiter didn’t bat an eyelash. Kang Moo smirked. 

“Bastard,” Kirin muttered. The waiter bowed after serving them. Kang Moo’s smirk grew.

* * *

The meal proceeded normally after that, but everything still felt different to Kirin. Kang Moo was _wining and dining_ him, minus the actual wine. So far, it had been the most surreal of nights. What had started as canceled plans before curiosity had gotten the better of him and he’d visited a _gay bar_ had somehow ended up as an honest-to-god date in this swanky restaurant with Kang Moo. 

Surreal. Was this what being in a _real_ relationship with Kang Moo was going to be like?

Kirin was wondering about Kang Moo’s original plans. If he’d canceled his meet up with Kirin to do something else, that ‘something’ must’ve been important. But then he’d turned up at the bar anyway. What had happened to his other plans? Was Kirin really important enough for Kang Moo to put those original plans aside? Kirin didn’t know. He wanted to think so, but that would just be deluding himself. Similar to the mysterious car accident, he wasn’t prepared to ask Kang Moo yet. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn’t realize someone else had joined them until said person was standing by their table. 

“Moo? I thought that was you.”

Kirin looked up. The new guy was tall. Handsome. Elegantly dressed. Well-bred in the same way that Kang Moo was. He gave Kirin a cursory glance, but his focus was on Kang Moo. 

“You don’t call. You don’t write. Should I feel insulted?” 

“As if you could feel insulted, Shihyun.” 

Shihyun laughed. “Do you mind if I join you for a bit?” 

Kang Moo gestured to the empty space and Shihyun pulled another chair from a nearby table and sat down. “So,” he said, finally looking at Kirin. “Are you going to introduce me to your friend?” 

“Lee Kirin, I’d like you to meet Yoon Shihyun,” Kang Moo said. 

Kirin recognized the name. Yoon Shihyun was the grandson of the Chairman of Yoon Industries. Of course, Kang Moo would know him. 

“Shihyun, this is Lee Kirin,” Kang Moo continued smoothly. “My partner.”

Kirin inwardly started at the acknowledgement of being Moo’s ‘partner,’ though thankfully, he didn’t show it. He felt Shihyun’s gaze pass over him again with a keener eye. His look was more appraising, and Kirin did his best not to flinch under the scrutiny. Somehow, this felt worse than the bar. It was one thing to have complete strangers judging him (strangers that he’d never meet again); it was different to have one of Kang Moo’s wealthy friends judging him. Shihyun made him feel inadequate in a way that the strangers from the bar never could.

“Your partner?” Shihyun repeated. “You must tell me the story of how you two met sometime,” he added. “I’m sure it’s very interesting.” 

Kirin reached for his water glass and took a sip, just to keep his hands occupied. _You have no idea_ , he thought silently. The waiter came by to clear their plates. The meal was over. 

“Dessert?” Moo said to him. 

Kirin shook his head. 

Moo dismissed the waiter with a nod, before returning his attention to Shihyun. “Was there something you wanted to tell me?” he asked. 

“Moo,” Shihyun admonished. “Always straight to business. Can’t I just say ‘hello’ to an old friend?” 

“That’s not your style,” Moo replied. 

“It’s been nearly a year,” Shihyun went on, as though Moo hadn’t spoken. “I thought you were in the U.S. When did you get back?”

“A few months ago,” Moo answered. “Something came up.” 

“And you’ve taken care of your business?” 

“Yes.” 

“Planning to go back to the States then?” 

“Eventually.”

“I see.” Shihyun looked thoughtful. “In that case, have you thought about reconstituting the club?” When Moo didn’t say anything, Shihyun continued. “Nasty business, what happened to Joohyuk and the others,” he went on. “The papers were light on the details thanks to the families involved, but I have a feeling you know what happened.” He paused. Kirin couldn’t decipher the look on Shihyun’s face. “Not that I’m sorry,” Shihyun said. “Those guys were absolute trash. They got what was coming to them. So . . . the club?” 

“You were the last person I thought would be interested in the club,” Moo said. 

Shihyun shrugged, but there was something calculated about the gesture. “It’s been dull without you,” he admitted. “The other guys have been calling me, asking about the club. I imagine they’ll reach out to you eventually. They’d have done it sooner if you weren’t so scary.” 

“I’ll give it some thought,” Moo finally said. 

“Good.” Shihyun stood up. “It was good to meet you, Kirin,” he added. “I’m sure I’ll see you in a future meeting.” 

“Likewise,” Kirin said, even though he didn’t know what was going on. 

“Moo,” Shihyun said, and Moo nodded in return.

Kirin watched as the grandson of the Chairman of Yoon Industries joined his own party, a small group that was waiting for him near the restaurant’s entrance. 

“What was he talking about?” he asked Moo, as Shihyun and his friends left. “What club?” 

“Behemoth.” 

At Kirin’s puzzled look, Moo said, “The fraternity. It’s called ‘Behemoth.’” 

“But why would you ‘reconstitute’ it?”

“Because it’s my club,” Moo said simply. “It’s always been my club. I founded it. And when I left for the States, Lim Joohyuk took over and ran it into the ground. Over half of the members quit, so only the trash was left. Shihyun should’ve taken over, but he was also out of the country at the time.”

Kirin knew that he was gaping. This was a lot of information to take in and he couldn’t process the implications of it either. Behemoth was Kang Moo’s _club_. If Kang Moo or Yoon Shihyun had been running things, would Seorin still be alive? Kirin struggled with the thought. This knowledge explained the deference that the other members had exhibited towards Kang Moo, even though Joohyuk was their leader; why the other members had seemed a little afraid of Kang Moo. Park Kibum would’ve raped him the night of the hunt, if Lim Joohyuk hadn’t given Kibum that warning: _Go ahead. Have your fun. If you think you can take Kang Moo_. Just the threat of Kang Moo’s retribution had been enough to stop Kibum. And Kibum had been right to be afraid. They all should’ve been afraid.

“How many members did the club originally have?” Kirin asked, trying to push those other thoughts away. 

“About a dozen or so,” Moo answered, “including Shihyun and myself. The club was cut in half when I left for the States.”

 _There were other members out there_ , Kirin thought. But they hadn’t participated in Seorin’s rape. Maybe they didn’t even know anything about it. Kirin had thought the club to be despicable. Depraved. A bunch of privileged a-holes who had been born with silver spoons. Had the club been any different when Kang Moo had been in charge? What did Behemoth do anyway? Kirin had thought that the fraternity was just a bunch of spoiled rich kids who liked to play stupid games that purposely went out of their way to humiliate, hurt and abuse people. That was all so beneath Kang Moo. But if Behemoth had originally been Kang Moo’s club, then it must’ve served some other purpose that Kirin wasn’t aware of. 

“Will you do it?” Kirin asked. “Will you ‘reconstitute’ the club as Shihyun said?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“But you’ve thought about it?” 

“A little.”

Kirin suddenly felt weighed down. He thought he’d never have anything to do with the fraternity again. He believed that the fraternity was dead. But now Kang Moo might raise the fraternity from its ashes. Even if things were different this time, even if the members were ‘new,’ Kirin couldn’t just shake off his past experiences. He wouldn’t be able to forget. And Moo. Kang Moo was the constant thread in everything. 

“Do you blame me?” Moo said, jolting Kirin out of his thoughts. 

“For what?” Kirin said, somewhat distracted. 

“For Seorin,” Moo said. “It’s what you’re thinking about now, isn’t it?” 

“No,” Kirin immediately said. He shook his head. “Yes. Maybe?” 

“Yes, maybe, that you’re thinking about it? Or yes, maybe, that you blame me?”

“Yes, I’m thinking about it,” Kirin admitted, still flustered. “No, I don’t blame you. How could I? How could you know what those guys would do after you left? Would you have been able to stop them if you’d stayed?” Kirin shook his head again, more forcefully this time. “I’m glad you weren’t here when it happened,” he went on, his thoughts flowing in a stream of consciousness. This was dangerous. He should think before he spoke, but he couldn’t seem to stop the words. “If you were here when it happened and did nothing to stop them, then I’d hate you too. I’d blame you then.” He looked at Moo searchingly. “Would you have stopped them? If you were there? You knew my sister, and she cared about you. Would you have stopped them?” 

There was a long pause. 

“I don’t know,” Moo said at last. “I don’t like thinking about past hypotheticals. They’re pointless. There’s nothing you can do to change the past, so why waste your time dwelling on what could have been?”

That wasn’t the answer that Kirin wanted to hear. It may have frustrated him, but it was a patent Kang Moo answer.

“What I _do_ know is that rape is disgusting to me,” Moo went on, as casually as if they were talking about the weather. “It’s crude and barbaric. It’s domination over the weak, and there’s no thrill in that. Rape doesn’t appeal to my criminal sensibilities.”

Kirin’s head was spinning. It was moments like these when he became fully aware of how different Moo was, of how ‘alien’ his thought processes could be. Kirin would never be able to truly understand him, no matter how hard he tried. 

“So, rape is not okay, but murder is?” he said.

“For me,” Moo replied. “It’s not the same for every psychopath. Contrary to popular belief, we’re not all serial killers and rapists. They just get the most publicity. Psychopaths are violent by nature, but many of them turn to petty or white collar crime.” 

“But not you.” 

“No, not me.” 

They stared at each other across the small table. It felt like a stalemate, one that Kirin was losing. Would he always lose? Was this another condition of being with Kang Moo? 

“Shall we go?” Moo asked. 

“Yes.”

* * *

_“You like it best from behind, don’t you?”_

Kang Moo had asked him that once while they were having sex. Kirin had never answered the question. Maybe he’d just told Kang Moo to ‘shut up.’ It wasn’t that he liked it best from behind, it was more that he’d found it too embarrassing and humiliating when Kang Moo stared at him so intently during sex. It felt like he was being stripped bare by Moo’s gaze, as though he were defenseless in front of Kang Moo, and Moo was memorizing each of his expressions, milking Kirin for every ounce of pleasure. (He was. Kirin was sure of it.) Kang Moo consumed him completely every time they had sex. While Kirin was swept away by the pleasure each time, he came out the other side drained and exhausted, an empty husk. And as he lay there spent, the shame would wash over him until he thought he would choke on his own bile. 

The only time it hadn’t been that way was in the suite that Mr. Jang had brought him to. His attempt to goad Moo into sex had been almost laughable ( _desperate_ , he thought now), but it had worked. After his initial refusal, Moo had capitulated. Sex was what had first brought them together. It had, inadvertently, become the foundation of their entire relationship. That night, the sex had been even more violent than usual, but also too quick and painful for Kirin to feel any real shame. Some part of his brain had registered that it was the first time Moo had used him in such a way, only as a receptacle for sex, not giving any thought to Kirin’s own satisfaction or pleasure. It had hurt his heart as much as it had hurt his body, but there’d been no time for shame.

Tonight, Kirin was on his back with his legs in the air. By choice. He wanted to be able to see Moo, wanted to be able to kiss him, wanted to keep him close. He’d almost come from Moo just fingering him (Moo was _insanely_ good at that), but Moo had stopped at the last moment because Kirin had begged him to. (Moo enjoyed hearing him beg.) Tonight felt different to Kirin – not the pounding that he was taking in the ass – but more along the lines of the comfort level that he felt with Moo. Something had shifted, had felt like it had been shifting all night. Whether it was in his own mind, or whether it was something more concrete between them, Kirin wasn’t sure. But he didn’t think that old familiar shame would come over him like before. He was learning how to come to terms with it, learning how to balance his relationship with Kang Moo. It would take time. But they had that now, didn’t they?

After, with Kang Moo still buried inside him, Kirin reached forward with both arms and pulled Moo down before he could move away. Moo looked surprised, but he didn’t resist, settling comfortably on top of Kirin. There had been a time when the weight of a man on top of him like this would’ve made Kirin nauseous, but now all he could think was, _It’s Kang Moo. It’s Kang Moo_. And that was all right. He tipped his head up, silently asking for a kiss, and Moo obliged. Kirin’s grip around Moo’s neck tightened as the kiss grew deeper. He could hear himself moaning as Moo plundered his mouth, and he tried to give as good as he got. Kirin had always found kissing to be nice. Sweet. But it wasn’t until Kang Moo that he discovered the passion behind kissing. That it could be hot and heavy; that he could get hard from a kiss. There wasn’t a lot of foreplay involved with Kang Moo. He knew how to turn Kirin on immediately, and Kirin had never experienced that before.

“Hey,” Kirin said, when the kiss was over. He was still holding onto Kang Moo, and he half-expected Moo to break his grip and pull away. But Moo had bracketed Kirin’s face with his forearms, and he looked content. 

“You told me before to hold on to you,” Kirin said. “Do you still want me to do that?” 

Moo leaned down so that his mouth was next to Kirin’s ear when he spoke. “That’s why I chose you,” he said. 

Kirin hugged Moo a bit tighter in response. “I said I won’t leave you,” he went on. “Does that go both ways?” 

Moo’s chuckle was low and deep in Kirin’s ear. “You’re stuck with me now, Lee Kirin,” he said.

Moo pulled away suddenly, and Kirin didn’t react quickly enough, so he had to let Moo go. He winced as Moo pulled out of him as well. His ass felt tender and sore and was leaking cum. He’d expected Moo to get out of bed and was pleasantly surprised when Moo flopped down on his back beside him. Kirin shifted closer to be near him, even though post-coital cuddling wasn’t part of their vocabulary. _New_ , Kirin thought. _Different_. That’s what tonight was. New and different. He wasn’t imagining it. Moo had shut his eyes, making Kirin wonder if he was going to doze off. He found himself speaking into the silence of the room.

“Mr. Jang called me naïve. He said that you wanted to get rid of me, that if I left that suite without making a deal with him, you’d probably kill me.” 

Kang Moo opened his eyes, his gaze shifting to meet Kirin’s. “Did you believe him?” he asked calmly. 

“I don’t know.” Kirin shook his head. “I hadn’t thought about it until he mentioned it,” he admitted. “I guess I was naïve. But I get why he said it. I must’ve seemed like a ticking time-bomb to you, a loose end that needed to be tied up.” 

“Do you think I’ll kill you now?” 

“I don’t know,” Kirin said again. “Maybe? Maybe in the future, when you get tired of me?” 

“And yet here you are.” 

“Here I am,” Kirin agreed. 

“Not so naïve then.”

Moo smiled, and in spite of it – or maybe _because_ of it – Kirin found himself returning the smile. He inched closer, close enough that he could rest his head on Moo’s shoulder, and place a hand on Moo’s chest. 

“Detective Nam said the same thing,” Moo told him, surprising Kirin. “That’s why he’ll continue to watch us. But he won’t interfere. I’ve seen to that.”

Kirin didn’t reply. His relationship with Detective Nam had also grown complicated. And somehow, Nam had played a role in their recent ‘car accident’ as well. It boggled the mind to think of Kang Moo and Detective Nam working together. It just _didn’t make sense_. But it didn’t surprise Kirin either. It simply reinforced his belief that Kang Moo was a master manipulator. Detective Nam had got caught in his web like so many others. Like Kirin himself.

Kirin lifted his head so that he could see Kang Moo’s face. “I would never say or do anything that could hurt you,” he said. “I would never betray you. Do you believe that?" 

Moo looked back at him with his dark, unfathomable gaze. “I do,” he said. 

There was nothing left to say.

Moo got out of bed this time, gently dislodging Kirin from his position. “I’m going to shower,” he said, heading for the bathroom. “You should too, or you’ll regret it in the morning.” He stopped, just before he crossed into the bathroom and looked back at Kirin. “Want to join me?” 

Kirin propped himself on his arms and gave Moo an unimpressed look. “You just want to have sex again,” he said. 

Moo chuckled, but didn’t reply. He disappeared into his ginormous bathroom, conveniently leaving the door open. A minute later, Kirin heard the sound of running water. He waited about another minute before he got out of bed and followed. 

**Fin.**

**Author's Note:**

> Everything belongs to the creator and Lezhin Comics. No offence is intended; no profit is being made.


End file.
